Recently a new mother wrote into Dear Abby, she was wondering if her lack of desire to play with her new baby was normal. She was happy and loved the child that she had so desired, yet looked forward to Dad coming home and taking a turn.

She longed for those restful periods of nap time. The poor girl was wondering if other mothers feel this way, was it possibly a 'dirty little secret' no one talks about. I was amazed when the staff at Dear Abby responded indicating- that was not a normal thing and she needed counseling.

I had to question myself as I read that. The scenario described me to a ‘T’. Am I a bad mother because I don't enjoy playtime with my little children? I feel the  responce she received from her question was the first step this mother was going to take into the cave of Mommy Guilt.

Perhaps the guilt actually began in her pregnancy as she sipped a glass of wine on a date with her husband or had coffee on a regular basis. Sometimes a simple reflection back to the things we may have done to our body in the past that inhibits the 'perfect' conditions for breeding a baby could trigger guilt.

I don't know what your guilt scenarios are but mine are moments of anger, coupled with an occasional swear word at my precious little gifts from God. (These times have dissipated over the years, Praise God, but they existed.)

The major one for me was the time I brought my four month old home from a walk. There was no need to strap him in his car seat as it sat on the stroller; he was too young to roll out. When I got home, I had his seat in the clutch of my elbow and leaned the other way to pet my dog; my sweet baby flew over me and onto the driveway, landing on his back.

Praise God he was in a snowsuit, but would that really cushion that kind of blow? Time stopped, "Oh Jesus, please roll back the clock, please make that moment disappear, Oh God help me!" I was paralyzed by emotion. It was a total nightmare and 100% due to my negligence.

A mother recently fell with her one year old who in turn broke her little femur. The mother is riddled with guilt and can't help but blame herself, although it was a fall.

Does the mother of an alcoholic blame herself for her child's illness? What about when a child’s dreams end in divorce? Does a child suffer from learning disabilities because of something her mother didn’t do right? What about the mother who cannot maintain her own marriage or the one who due to complete absentmindedness left her baby in the car? What about the mother who discovers her child has fallen into sexual abuse with someone who the mother trusted?

What about the guilt of abortion, the ultimate guilt for many mommies? Maybe you've had an abortion and never were given another chance to be a mommy.

We can carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and we will if we don't understand the nature of Jesus and His grace.

When I first became a Christian, I had three sons under 3 1/2 years old. I was under 30 and over my head to say the least. Fresh from the 'world', I screamed and yelled a lot. I was selfish and overwhelmed. I remember asking for the impossible, "God, could you give me grace in my mothering?" It was a long shot, but I asked in faith.

It seems like such a long time ago that I asked in desperation for a complete overhaul in my home. I am not tooting my own horn, I swear in my own accord I am a nightmare wife and mother, but in Christ there has been truly an abundance of grace in my mothering.

Even on the day that I sat in the hospital while my precious infant underwent a CT scan as a result of my own mistake, I was held in the loving arms of my Father. "Not my will, but Your will be done," I prayed over and over to remind myself that if this little boy suffered unbelievable ramifications from internal bleeding that, I would be OK.

They were the same words Jesus prayed as He walked closer to the cross where His hands and His feet would be nailed, where He'd hang in agony for the forgiveness of sins.

He hung for the forgiveness of my sins, the ones I'm open with you about, but even the ones no one but God knows about. He hung there and suffered for me, it was the ultimate gift of love.

According to the righteousness of God, someone had to take on the guilt and shame for the way I mistreated others, especially the ones I love so dearly. There was going to be punishment for the bad things I have thought, said and done but out of His love for me He took it all on Himself.

I don't carry guilt. I don't carry guilt for the things I share with you (and the things I do not share). I don't carry guilt for the time my baby landed on the driveway after a 4 foot drop or the times I have used swear words in a fit of anger towards my precious little people. I don't feel guilty about the things I did or didn't do in pregnancy and before. I don't feel guilt about the fact that I never enjoyed play time with my babies. (Who in all humility have turned out to be pretty incredible so far, despite my lack of playing with them- by the grace of God!)

Instead of guilt I have gratitude; gratitude that God loves me so dearly, despite all my mistakes and sins. He loves me so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for me. He died willingly so that I won't have to. He took my guilt and shame and let me tell you, He has it. I do not carry those emotions around in my life. His death was sufficient for my sin, was it sufficient for yours?

Have you released it all to The Father who loves you so much that He gave His one and only son to die for you? That may sound morbid I understand how complicated that concept is, but Jesus came for that very reason. He came to give His life for you.

Romans 3:21 But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished–he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. (NIV)

Are you feeling guilty about something? Do a double check- is it guilt or conviction? Conviction comes from God and it's a loving nudge that we need to make a change in something, like not yelling at our children.

Guilt, on the other hand, comes from Satan and comes in the form of lies and shame. It’s the accusation that we screwed up royally and there will never be healing in what we did. Guilt says strap on your backpack of heavy emotions; we have a long road to hoe.

If it is guilt you’re feeling, you have yet to claim the blood of Jesus for your sins. Rest assured He didn't die for my sin only, He died for yours too.

If it is conviction you’re feeling, ask Him to help you the way I ask for grace every minute of my life. If you are being convicted, then you already know how loved you are. You'll be happy to be guided by Him, as you grow in your mothering or other area of life. You are currently sinning, however, if you let conviction become guilt.

There is no guilt for the Christian; that would indicate Jesus’s slaughter on the cross was not enough. If you are a Christian you know full well “it is finished”. (John 19:30)

I'm thankful that I don't have to rely on the wisdom of Dear Abby for the depth of guilt and understanding I carry in life. When Jesus left He sent the wisdom and counsel of the Holy Spirit and that is more than enough.

I hope and pray that you will present any guilt or shame you have in mothering or any area of your life to the One who counted you worthy to die for.

Check this out:
Amazing Grace