The other day a friend of mine dropped by in the middle of the afternoon; she found me napping.  Later, she asked me if I was sick.  “No, I’m not sick,” I said, “I’ve been too tired to have sex with my husband, and thought I should do something about it.”

When the house is quiet in the middle of the day and I can get a ton of things done; the last thing I want to do is waste that precious time with a nap.  However, it’s important I plan ahead because the clear need for the nap could be glaring me in the face of my weary body, later in the evening.

I know I will wish I had sacrificed the time of getting done what I wanted to and taken the nap. When my work is done for the day, when I can turn everything off and sink into my bed, there I will be my body collapsed from the physical and emotional exertion that comes with being a mom and I’m ready for some serious sleep when I notice something that does not fit into my plans. My best friend in the world is right there next to me somehow indicating he could use a little company now that his stress-filled day is over also. While I am ready to crash, he is ready to connect.

 

I want to be there for him but if I don’t carve time out of my day to prepare for him, what he will get from me is one flat out exhausted wife who acts like the last thing on her priority list is her husband.

Recently we moved and that literally sucked every bit of energy out of me.  It became a nightly pattern of me having the best intentions of connecting with my husband but in reality my head hit the pillow and before I had any last thing to say, I’d be off into the mode of recuperation.

“You going to sleep?” he’d ask sweetly.  The guilt sets in as I know full well he wants someone to hang out with after his long day.  If nothing else he just needs my friendship.  I want desperately to be there for him, my heart is all over it but my body has given its last burst of energy and we both know that despite my most sincere intentions I am gone for the night.

Still on the heels of a move, a mother of four, there’s a lot to do but I recognize that if I leave my responsibilities for a while and rest during the day; when I lay in bed at night next to my husband/best friend I will have something to offer him besides a worn out woman who is plenty happy to cuddle but …desperately needs to sleep.

Making my husband a priority needs to be 2^nd on my list of all time personal goals (which I need to set and keep).  If I put my kids before my husband they will never have the foundation of a happy marriage and if I put my husband before my relationship with the Lord, we will never have a marriage that is built on the solid foundation that comes with putting God’s will above all else.

If I don’t keep these priorities in order then I may be a great mom or wife, I may be good at the other things I do, but I will never have the fullness of what God intended for me.

My 1^st and foremost priority is my relationship with The Lord.

If my relationship with God is off, everything in life is off and when a storm hits, which I know it will, I will not be prepared.  I need to focus all my energy in this area of my life, if it is not right.  When it is right, I will have everything I need to proceed with the rest of my life.

Without making God my number one priority I will not be girded up with truth, I will not be standing on the firm foundation that comes with knowing the Lord personally and allowing Him to nourish me with His love and forgiveness. When I don’t spend time with Him, even though I know He never changes, I lose my security in His provision and omniscience.  My relationship with God is my number one priority.

When I put Him first, I am assured of where I am headed, even if I feel lost.  I am never alone; I feel love and adoration whenever I need it. I feel understood when it’s easy to feel misunderstood.  I have hope and not desperation regardless of my circumstances.

Perhaps this is a new concept for you and you may wonder how I do that, here are a few ways:

(these are ideals and if I did them perfectly I would not need a savior)

• Prayer Making sure that I am up early enough that the very first greeting every day is for God.  Maybe that’s why I am exhausted at the end of the day but getting up to be with Him alone, in the quiet of my home is the sweetest way to begin each day. I do not tend to chores that are looming or check e mails I spend time with Him.
  
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I do not restrict my relationship with Him to prayer time- I am constantly in a state of prayer.  I am not walking around on my knees, or reciting the Lord’s Prayer all day long, but I am talking to God about all things.  When I notice a sunrise or a sweet gesture from an innocent child I am likely to whisper, “Thank you God.” I tend to acknowledge His goodness whenever I am taken by it.  When my child does something that concerns me, “Lord, please help him with… (his kindness, honesty, his school work, social skills, work ethic, hygiene)” whatever I am feeling concern over I take immediately to the Lord.   I can turn every thought into prayer never leaving room for worry.

Because I spend so much time with God, part of my identity is being aware of how precious I am to Him. Though I may have doubts when I catch myself sinning; because of my connection with Him, I am more likely to believe the truth instead of the lies that I would otherwise believe about my shortcomings. I am constantly reassured about how absolutely capable He is of handling everything in my life. The alternative to knowing God and investing in a relationship with Him would be to worry and that would otherwise bring me stress.  As I read His word I learn how much more He loves my children and husband than I am even capable of.

This connection with God is possible because, though I am a sinner, I have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus and though my sin was once scarlet red, when I received that forgiveness and Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, my sin was washed white as snow.

• The Bible The best way for me, personally, to get anything out of the Bible is in a Bible study.  I know some people are apprehensive about Bible study, especially if they have never opened a Bible, but we all start somewhere.  Lacking Bible knowledge is truly a silly reason for not going to a Bible study.  Christianity is often interpreted wrong and soured by religion, but truthfully there is no room for shame and guilt over our pasts for the follower of Jesus; each day is a new beginning.  This cleansing is a gift for everyone who believes.  If you open the Bible and don’t understand it, ask God for wisdom.  If you have received His forgiveness the Bible will become alive for you and you will understand why it is so powerful.
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• Christian Radio I listen almost exclusively to Christian radio. Not because it is my all-time favorite music, although I do really like it, but because it fills me with ideas of hope and understanding about how I feel. Christian radio never leads me into despair, it never causes my mind to feel resentful or jealous, and it never puts ideas of sin in my head. It is a constant reinforcement of how loved I am, how blessed I am and though I am a sinner who goes astray or questions my beliefs from time to time it is always a reminder of how forgiven I am. Even the News is presented from a foundation of hope, never gloom.  Christian radio is sprinkled with encouragement and hope.
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• Fleeing the things that cause me to stray Whether it’s what I read, watch on TV or in movies, listen to on the radio or the places I surf on the internet, if they are conflicting to my relationship with God, no matter how much I like them or how good they ‘feel’ I realize I need to discipline myself and flee.  It is a direct conflict to my relationship with God for me to indulge in music that makes me think of things that hurt Him. If He is my number one priority there is no room for anything that sours my peace with Him.
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The same thing goes for my friends. I choose to be around girls who believe what I do and have the same goals and priorities; if I fall they will lift me up, if I am in sin they point me in the right direction and they will hold me accountable. They will not judge me, gossip about me or tempt me.  As best as they humanly can they will love me.

Defining and pursuing God as my number one priority is a decision that threads the fruit of the spirit into everything else I do.

^{Galatians 5:22}But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (NIV)